Goodnight, Gracie.

I can't believe it's over.

Tonight was the final episode of Will & Grace. This was consistently one of my favorite shows for almost its entire 8-year run.

And I wasn't sure how tonight's goodbye would affect me. Dammit, I was already in a subdued emotional state because of what today was the 3-year anniversary of (another goodbye, in a way), and -- you know me lately -- sure enough, it was a sad thing.

The episode itself was pretty good. They did some odd things with looking into the future, which made for an effective and pretty satisfying wrapup to the story of these four characters for whom very little really had changed in the entire run of the show. I've hardly watched it this whole season, given that I got behind and didn't want to watch the episodes out of order, so I just kept TiVoing them. The last few years I was sort of losing interest; the overemphasis on the famous guest star du jour trumped genuinely funny writing or compelling plotlines. So jumping back in tonight only vaguely aware of what had been going on, with Grace's baby, the will-she-or-won't-she with the return(?) of ex-hubby Leo, and the when-will-he-ever-find-happiness sad-sack Will... There were a number of blasts from the past and shockingly touching moments that delighted and tearjerked me: the semi-reconciliation of W&G only to realize that they'd finally grown apart; the future chance encounter in much the same way they'd first met; Jack & Karen's middle-aged "old time's sake" stomach-touch. I couldn't stop myself from a quick good cry when it was all over.

It seems kinda crazy that a simple TV show could have such a powerful effect on people, but I guess that's one of my crazy attributes. I'll probably never meet the actors from the show, but the characters they created managed to become like friends. I was even reciting lines from old episodes the whole way through tonight's pre-episode retrospective. So what did they mean to me?

Will -- for all his material & career success, he never seemed to quite recover from the loss of the "love of his life". He was like the "normal gay" but somewhat of a stereotype in his own way -- fussy, a primper, not good at sports, and he analyzed everything to death. But something about him was irrepressably attractive, and he personified that kind of person that people in middle America probably know but were too clueless to realize was gay. "Will" probably opened their eyes somewhat, and with his vulnerability and charm, certainly had even prudish grannies rooting for his happiness. I always rooted for him too, thinking that if hapless Will could finally find that happiness, maybe I could too.

Grace -- as brought to the screen by Debra Messing became the "Lucy" of our time. How many hysterically funny moments of physical comedy was she a part of on this show? Ironically, on a show at least partly about gay white urban males, Grace displayed more than her share of shallowness, bitchiness, and lack of morals. But deep down she was seeking that great love that would equal or exceed the one she had -- but could not have -- with Will. And so she remained somewhat of a tragic figure amidst all the comedy she generated. She was at once the kind of platonic female friend I would love to have and would dread having.

Jack -- the typical viewer of this show no doubt saw Jack as a nod to the stereotypical gay male: rather effeminate, obsessed with his own appearance and that of the guys he dates, bad at sports (well, he did kick ass in soccer in spite of himself), and forever working entry-level retail jobs while trying to break into show biz. But I also could see him as the one who made the unlovable (or unable to love herself--Karen) feel loved. And he was entirely comfortable with who he was. I'll never forget Jack asking Will "Aren't you tired yet?" that finally made Will see that the one he was hurting most by staying in the closet was himself. And of course, the pairing of Jack and Karen is now the stuff of sitcom legend, but they came out of nowhere and ended up stealing the show... many, many times.

Karen -- another tragic character but without even a twinge of regret. Karen Walker, the poster child for wealthy middle-aged female boozehounds and pill-poppers everywhere. Who'd'a thunk prescription drug addiction and alcoholism could be funny (and I still have to cringe at how extreme it got at times but always played for laughs), but damn, Megan Mullally did it. In some ways, of all the cast she always stood out as my favorite. Maybe it was because she seemed so different in real life than her character, yet for the extreme caricature Karen was, she of all the four was the most complex. Her love for whale-hubby Stan (and not just his millions), for verbal-jousting partner and maid Rosario, and even for the stepchildren whose names she had trouble remembering, showed her to be human in so many good ways, and in spite of herself. One of the best moments of tonight's retrospective was the clip from (I think) Season 1 where Jack said, "Don't hate me for doing this, but... {GIVES KAREN A BIG HUG} I love you" really summed up what Karen was about: puts up this tough-as-nails facade, but is longing for someone to break through it and touch what's inside -- in Karen's case, her killer rack AND her heart.

So much to love about the show. In fact, the retrospective tonight brought me as much joy as the final episode did. That's what this show did, it didn't just entertain, didn't just make me think, didn't just make me laugh. It brought me joy. It's hard to let go of things like that.

Not ready to say goodbye entirely to this era of my life, it's good, then, that I still have almost the whole season's worth of episodes still to watch on TiVo.

But I gotta send out love and thanks to the cast & crew of this show, who really did create something special. This show in many ways helped to change our society and helped me: helped me to laugh, helped me to accept myself, and helped me to laugh at myself. And laugh I did! When they were on the mark, they were fabulous. The show and its characters are and should always be a part of me -- truly "unforgettable."