It's Bleak Out There--We Need a Laugh!

It's been a pretty bleak couple-a'-weeks in the US of A. But despite the hurricanes, financial crises, and unending lies & distortions from the presidential candidate (& his ludicrous VP choice) who is inexplicably leading in the polls(!!?!!! WTF???), this made me laugh. Out loud. At work.

And then, there's this, in case anyone hasn't seen it or heard about it:

Shuffling "The List"

This summer will be eight years since I joined my "local" gym. (Yeah, it's almost a 20-minute walk from home but it was close to my office at the time I joined. And it was and still is cheap.)

I've never looked at it as a place to find a BF or a hook-up, but I must confess I'm a bit disappointed in the almost complete lack of social interaction I've experienced there. There's been only about 4 guys I ever talked to on a regular basis, and a few I tried talking to but they weren't very receptive. So generally it's a look but don't talk situation. I guess for the gym that it is (and the steady degaying it's undergone), that's no surprise.

I mean, it's not Results ("new boyfriend in the first 30 days or your money back!").

Aside from my music and the occasional TV program to distract me a bit while I pound the treadmill pavement, I've amused myself by composing a mental list of Top 5 guys there that I'd do in the proverbial NYM (New York minute). Mind you, this is also more of a fantasy list, as these are generally guys I figure I'd have no chance with if I ever even got to talking to them in the first place.

Through these few years, my list hasn't really changed much. There have been a few other simply stunning men I've seen there but quite unfortunately, they seem to be one-timers (on a business trip, I'm guessing).

Most of the list revision is not due to new hotties, but to listers who seem to have disappeared from that particular gym. If I haven't seen a lister in the last few months, he gets tentatively stricken from the list. And honestly, I've stricken so many and added so few over the last year that my Top 5 list now has about 3 guys on it. I can't even remember now who the other more recent listers were!

Note that I mentioned that it's a list of "ungettables"; I have another much less-structured list, that being "looks like he'd make a good boyfriend." I actually got somewhere, sort of, with one of them about a year ago. After sizing him up for years but never talking to him (my trainer in the beginning told me this guy was partnered and they owned a house together), he nevertheless seemed to be smiling at me and made a lot of eye contact, and then he finally claimed a stairmaster one non-busy day right next to mine and I finally said hello. We got to talking a fair amount over the next several meetings, and he wasn't only cute, fairly close to my age, and totally my type physically, but he was very nice, kind of low-key, and smart -- a doctor (psychiatrist), no less! Totally take homeable to Mom... so finally after a bunch of really nice conversations, I asked him if he wanted to hang out after a workout sometime, to which he pretty much offered up the inevitable "sorry, I have a boyfriend." I tried to call the horse back into the stable by assuring him that I still would enjoy having a drink, but he seemed completely disinterested at that point. So now I don't even go very often when I know he likes to go there. It's just too much of a bummer. I see him there once in a great while, and we are still friendly, but I don't try making much conversation anymore.

Anyway, back to the point: the fading Top 5 list. Well, I shook it up a bit this week. In fact, my new star debuted at #1!

I first noticed him there many months ago, and took an interest right away, but I didn't see him all that often. Now having seen him twice in the past few days up-close, I'm totally convinced. He's about exactly my height, dark hair, hairy chest with the fur starting to come up onto his shoulders, a medium build (well, he's actually kind of slighter than I like, but OK) with some absolutely perfect definition all over -- not big but definitely muscular. And an absolutely handsome, no-particular-ethnic-group face framed by the most gorgeous dark curly hair and most recently, these perfect dense-yet-short sideburns and the shadow of the start of a goatee.

Up-close #1 was last week when he was stretching on a mat and I, still working off my calf injury from March, decided I ought to be stretching at the end of my workouts, and managed to sidle up setting my mat down right next to his. Unfortunately, no eye contact, no anything, even though I looked in his direction numerous times. Up-close #2 was today when I got on the elliptical machine with just one other empty one between us. Again, no acknowledgement even though I did try to at least get him to return my lingering glances (without seeming as if I was staring at him--I'm very careful about that!).


I'm not really sure what to make of this guy. I've never seen him at the gym with anybody, or even talking to anyone else there. Plus he doesn't ever seem to smile. He's not frowning or scowling, he just seems like he's there to just do his own thing without the need to acknowledge anyone else. This could all mean he's either rather shy, like me, or he's a narcissistic asshole. Or somewhere in between. I've never seen him anywhere else, certainly not "out"--he may not even be gay! (but he's sooo pretty & hunky, if he isn't gay he def. should be!) But regardless, at this point I can't imagine a situation where I'd actually get to talking to him. So I'll just use him as my inspiration-of-the-moment to make sure I'm there every day around 5 (well, that and the rapid approach of swimsuit season) to ogle him from afar or even close-up. While I imagine how truly beautiful-looking he'd be if he actually smiled.

This is SO wrong.

Say it ain't so, Tim Gunn!

Bravo, You're Out!

This, kids, is what's known as a hot tranny mess.

Soooooo not fierce. More like whickety-whack.

Lifetime?? Lifetime?? Really. You're OUT, Bravo. Auf wiedersehen!

Kosovo is Serbia!

NOLE!

Novak Djokovic
Winner of the 2008 Australian Open men's singles championship

Congrats, kudos, and mucho affection for this awesome tennis star, who in the last 2 weeks has given me a renewed interest in his sport and new confidence in my own game, and become my new idol ;-)

2007 Recap. 2008 Hopes. Not a resolution in sight.

The year that was, the good and the other:

February: My car was broken into, in my "security" underground garage, of all places! Lost about $250 in CDs and my good 35mm camera, zoom lens, flash, and God knows how many rolls of film, not to mention the whole driver's side window. The apartment company comped me with 6 months of free parking, but I don't think that was enough to make it even. (A few of the CDs I didn't bother replacing anyway.)

June: Another wonderful trip to "the homeland" in Slovakia, with the added bonus of 4 days in northwest Romania. Spectacular mountain vistas and foothills, tinged with tragedy yet signs of hope and erratic flashes of prosperity and even hyperconsumption. Before I left I discovered my new infatuation on stage at Pride. (I haven't met him yet. But he's evidently really young and probably I'd be too self-conscious to go for it even then even if he were "available". One "Gabriel" in my lifetime is enough.)

August: Just before leaving for my Labor Day weekend getaway to Uniontown, Pa., the powers that be at work told me that my position was to be eliminated on October 31, which at that moment was unexpected but which I nevertheless had been expecting for a long while, only earlier. Were I making a worst of '07 list, this would be on it, but then, it would also be on a best of '07 list, because I was too comfy in that job and was absolutely going nowhere. This was just the kickstart I needed to finally move on to something bigger and better (we hope).

September: On my annual trip to Uniontown, Pa. to the Byzantine Catholic pilgrimage (19 years running) there was a surprise and unwelcome visitor. Without wasting undue amounts of pixels on him, which he's not worth, it was a terribly traumatic thing to see him for the first time in 5 years and to avoid having to speak to or otherwise acknowledge him. It took me a few days to emotionally recover from the unexpected sight of him I'd hoped I'd never have to endure. Later that month I went to the homeland again for about a week, and spent a few days in Krakow, Poland for the first time. It was a really cool city and was a nice way to get away from it all, having just been told about being laid off and such.

October: I received a service-type award for my Carpatho-Rusyn-related activism and such, at a special dinner in Passaic, NJ, at which I also was the featured speaker about Rusyns in NJ. The coolest thing was that Mom & Dad made the trip to be there and see me receive it.

December: I hosted a reasonably-successful "mid-holidays" cocktail party despite the persistent clutter. (I did get rid of most of the WaPos, MWs and Blades this year, though. It's a good start!)

Misc: My first book was published! so to speak... I wrote a chapter on the history of the emigration to the U.S. from my Rusyn grandmother's village in Slovakia for a book that two profs. over there were writing, and it turned out they granted me co-authorship! It was a really sweet surprise and a nice thing to show off and pad the ol' resume with (which, it turned out, came in very handy later in the year).

First-run movies I saw:

• Breach
• Zodiac
• Live Free or Die Hard
• American Gangster
• The Mist
• I Am Legend
• Charlie Wilson's War

Somehow I managed to miss The Simpsons Movie, Knocked Up, Spider-Man 3, Superbad, Hostel II, and a whole host of must-sees. Amazingly, most of what I saw ended up on someone's Best of '07 List. There's always DVD for the rest (already got Simpsons for Christmas!).

(is it bad that I needed a cheat sheet to remember them?)

Best of Entertainment (in no particular order):

• American Idol
• Scissor Sisters show (9:30 Club, DC, March)
  
• The Hills (dang stupid show just sucked me right in!)
  
• The Office
• Project Runway
• MIKA
• Reel Affirmations 17
• American Carols by the Gay Men's Chorus of Washington (December)
  
• HGTV

Yeah, I became a real-live HGTV (Homo Gay TV? Hot Guy TV?) junkie in 2007. It's become my default station to have on in the background when nothing I specifically want to watch is on, but there's actually a lot of shows that I watch intently: FreeStyle, House Hunters, Hammer Heads, Carter Can, Design Star, Designed to Sell, Property Virgins, and the inimitable Color Splash. It doesn't hurt that they feature gay designers, gay homeowners, and a very gay aesthetic on most every show, and that some of the designers/carpenters are downright dreamy. Here's my list of top HGTV hotties that keep me glued to the tube:

• Steve Hanneman - he's adorably cute, soooo funny, and has a rockin' hot bod. AND he got his own show this fall, Hammer Heads. Go Stevie! (Though as the host he's a little more focused and not quite as funny. To see him at his adorable best, catch him on Designed to Sell.)
• Carter Oosterhouse - evidently he was a fixture on TLC before getting his own show, Carter Can, this year on HGTV. How'd I miss him before? He's hunky-babealicious and a real sweetie-pie too. (I just wish he'd knock off that down-home redneck affectation. He's from the upper midwest, but I mean, really...)
• Sasha Andreev - a Russian-born young aspiring actor who is totally getting better with age (he's like 27 but is really growing into his cuteness/hotness); too bad he's still only on a throwaway segment ("Trash to Treasure") of someone else's show (Decorating Cents), but this spring he'll be the host of a new program. Go Sasha! (and come here, Sasha!) And oh, BTW, check his MySpace page - it looks like our Sasha may be "our" Sasha!
  
• David Bromstad - by birth totally not my type (smooth as a seal, part Asian), but great muscles, overall cuteness, and a very interesting & creative designer. He and his show, Color Splash, are a lot of fun to watch (especially when the "straight" married male houseowner unconsciously flirts with David or tackle-hugs him at the big reveal) and his designs are pretty amazing. And the episode that revealed him as a "Star Wars geek" was a nice way of dispelling the impression of him as a gym-rat-fag. (I wish I'd gotten to see him compete on the 1st season of Design Star!)

Once in a while they do a show in DC and I actually see somebody I recognize... reminds me that I actually live in a big important city. And all this house-hunting and fixerupping makes me once again fixated on how & when I can buy my own place. Unfortunately sitting here on my unemployed ass at age 38 1/2, I don't even know if I can manage to buy that first place by the time I'm 40. (On my most recent salary I could probably buy a $250,000 studio in Northeast but what would be the point of that?)

And while I'm on the subject, seeing as how I didn't have any dates or even any mild flirtations all year, here's the hotness that kept me believing and lusting in 2007:

• Chris Richardson (American Idol finalist; his best-buddydom/showmance with dweebyfaggy Blake was adorable but if only he would've flashed his formerly-flabby now fabbo chest for the cameras)
• BJ Novak (when his character on The Office got promoted to management and he went with the manicured scruff look, I squealed with delight!)
• Brody Jenner (mimbo of "The Hills" fame, wow, beautiful, not totally dumb, seems nice enough and eminently watchable on that silly show)
  
• Steve Hanneman (see above) -- so cute and sexy I just want to tackle him!
• and of course there was a real-live fascination I discovered, a certain member of the DC Cowboys who here shall remain nameless (but I've nicknamed him "By-By"; guess which one). The funny thing is, while I haven't met him, one of my close friends knows him and already told him that someone my friend knows has a crush on him! And it turns out he's way younger than I thought -- like, 23(!!!) -- but I certainly wouldn't let that stop me. He's definitely got the look I like, he's got a bit of an "edge" (a bad boy? well, probably not, but check the thigh tat! wow!), and my friend tells me he's a really nice guy. What more could I want? Ummm... to actually meet him someday? (and then what? see above)
  

I promised no resolutions but I still want to lay out some general principles for 2008.

• Reality check: I'm actually in my late 30s, no avoiding that. Time to get my act together and be the best I can be: physically, career-wise, emotionally and socially. Don't take anything for granted, including the time I have while I'm still young and healthy.
  
• Ramp up my productivity and don't waste so much time on inconsequential things. Like blogging. (oops!)
  
• On the other hand, be more social. Go out more, have more fun!
• While striving to be the best I can be, be more comfortable with who I am and put myself "out there" more, with confidence. Everybody says I have a lot to offer; if I have trouble believing that, who else that doesn't already know me is going to see it?

(did you all want pictures or links or something? it's freakin' Jan. 20th already--let me just publish this thang already and maybe I can add links later)

Wake Up, Sleepyblog!

OMG, it's been almost 8 months this blog has been dormant. Which doesn't mean that I have, but somehow life has just steered me away from the navel-gazing that was part and parcel of what was going on with me in the past few years. I guess that's a good thing.

On the other hand, while I've been contemplating an attempt at resuming the blogging thing for a few weeks now, it's taken a restless evening drifting from planned activity to reading misc. DC blogs, while becoming progressively intoxicated, to dive back in to these waters.

The way I have to do it is to recap, for my own sake, the year gone by and try to psyche myself up for being more productive and successful in the year ahead. Let's devote a whole separate post with that, OK?

OMG it's as if I'm A-list

Yo! Happy 2007+5.75 mo!

So much has happened this week, I gotta get back on the blog.

My downstairs pal / big bro Rick invited me to this opening / cocktail reception at the new Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams store over @ 14th St. in Logan. Wow, what a hoot & a holler! I haven't been to anything that gay since the Annie Lennox concert in April 2003. (Scissor Sisters at the 9:30 Club in March 2007 wasn't even close.)



What a fun evening! Great food & drink, pretty boys (and some ripe for mocking, doncha know), glam gals, and any number of people who were like "s/he looks familiar, but I have no idea who that is!" Truly an A-List event. Actually I wish we coulda stayed a little longer but the call of the American Idol finals was too much to resist, seeing as how I've been devoted to it since the beginning this year and have to finish it out.

The only downside was, I got home in time to back up 30 min. on my TiVo to catch the finals from the start, only I hit the wrong button on my remote, GD it!!!, and erased the 1st 30 minutes. Poor Blake, he gave it his all, but that last song just wasn't for him. (But I'm cool, I got to see my Chrissy again :-) if only for a few minutes in the audience)